


A Second Chance

by ready_to_kick_some_ass



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Disability, F/M, Fix-It, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Paralysis, Paraplegia, Post season finale, Recovery, Serious Injuries, Sort Of, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 09:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14713281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_to_kick_some_ass/pseuds/ready_to_kick_some_ass
Summary: He's alive. That's what matters.He didn't survive it without being changed forever, but Mack knows that he will find a solution.They always find a solution.





	A Second Chance

Fitz is floating in the void. Around him light alternates with darkness. He moves without moving.  
  
There are voices somewhere above him. They are surreal and vague. The piercing beeping that seems to come from all sides drowns them out.  
  
He feels heavy and light at the same time. Is this a dream? If so, then he wants to wake up. He wants to get rid of the white-hot pain that burns his body.  
  
Reality is a loose, fragile construct. It comes and goes as it pleases. Fitz is there and then, in the next moment, not there anymore.  
  
At some point, he feels someone is squeezing his hand. Someone breathing his name. He knows this voice ...  
  
_Mack_ , he realises in relief. _ It's Mack.  Mack is here.  Mack is ... real?  Is he real?  _ _Or a dream, or_ ... He tries to open his eyes.  But all he can perceive are shadows without solid contours.  
  
Mack's voice hovers over him. "Stay with us, Fitz.  You have to hang on, you hear me?  Hang on."  
  
Fitz hears him. But the words make little sense to him. Why does Mack's voice sound so panicky? Why … What happened?  
  
The little bit of reality disappears again as darkness takes the light and swallows him.  
  
*  
  
The next time he wakes up, the contours in front of his eyes are clearer.  Reality is more tangible. He can feel things. He feels like being bedded in cotton.  There's a pillow under his head. He moves his fingers.  Buries them in soft fabric.  A blanket. He can't feel his legs, he notices.  
  
It reminds him of something ... of something that happened.  But as soon as he starts to think about it, it's gone again. There's still that deafening beeping. He wished it would stop.  
  
"Fitz," someone says next to him.  "Welcome back."  
  
Mack.  It's Mack again, he realizes. Fitz still can't feel his legs. He tries to tell Mack, but suddenly realizes that there is something in his throat that is choking him and he panics.  He hastily tries to raise his hands to pull the thing out, but suddenly Mack is over him, holding him gently.  "Turbo, don't.  You are not strong enough yet to breathe on your own.  Try to calm down."  
  
Mack puts a warm hand on his forehead. "It will be alright.  Trust me.  Everything's going to be alright." Mack's voice is hypnotic. His touch is calming.  
  
Fitz is tired. He trusts Mack.  He would trust him with his life. So he does what Mack says. He calms down and falls asleep.  
  
*

He dreams of Jemma. She is standing on a green meadow and is wearing her wedding dress. She smiles at him. He reaches out a hand for her. But she's too far away. He can't reach her and he's afraid ...  
  
Another Jemma is sitting next to him and runs a hand through his hair. Slowly. Tenderly. "Oh Fitz," she says softly. "Fitz ..." Nothing more. Just his name. She doesn't smile. She's crying.  
  
As he reaches out his hand for this Jemma, a trembling and weak hand, Jemma takes it into her own and squeezes gently. Her thumb starts to run circles over his heated skin. Fitz is relieved. She has to be real ... He concentrates on her touch and falls asleep again.

*  
  
He has no sense of the time passing around him. Everything flows into each other. Light, darkness, voices, touches.  
  
Sometimes it's just shapes without a contour.  
  
At some point, Daisy's sitting next to him, her face full of tears.  
  
_Everyone_ , he thinks weakly, _everyone's crying when they are here._  
  
Something terrible must have happened. Did he hurt somebody? He would ask Daisy if he wasn't so terribly tired.  
  
The next moment he loses reality again and the darkness reaches for him.  
  
*  
  
Over time, memories come back to him. Memories of the end of the world. Did they prevent it?  
  
That's the first question he tries to ask Mack when the thing in his throat has finally disappeared. Only at first, no words are coming out of his mouth. Instead, he starts to cough because his throat is so dry that it hurts.  
  
The next moment Mack holds a plastic bottle of water to his mouth and he drinks gratefully. When he has emptied half the bottle, he tries again. "Have ... we ... the world ..." He can't bring out more than that.  He sighs in frustration.  
  
But Mack understands. Exactly like he understood back then.  Back when Fitz didn't find words.  Back then.  When was it?  An eternity ago.  
  
"Yes.  We made it, Turbo," Mack says from his chair next to Fitz's bed.  He looks exhausted and sad.  
  
Fitz nods in relief.  There's a dull throbbing in his head. "What ..." he starts and then he has no strength left.  _What happened_ , he asks Mack with his eyes.  _ What happened to me?  I don't remember, Mack.  _ _I only know that something is very wrong._  
  
Mack swallows. His face fills with pain. "You ... I'll just tell you the truth, right?  I'm not going to lie to you." Mack takes a deep breath before continuing.  "You are very badly injured, Turbo.  When we saved Polly and Robin, a part of the building collapsed.  The rubbles ... they buried you and ... they did a lot of damage to your body."  
  
Ah. The pictures are coming back. Dust falling on his shoulders as if in slow motion. A premonition that gives him goose bumps. And then ... pain.  Nothing but pain.  
  
"We weren't sure ... for a very long time we didn't know if you would pull through," Mack says in a strangled voice.  He takes Fitz's hand in his and squeezes it lightly.  "But you kept fighting.  And here we are." He smiles weakly.  
  
Fitz tries to understand.  Tries to keep up with the information.  It's not easy. Something pulls him back into the darkness all the time. He can't remember ever being so tired. But the next moment he remembers his legs.  
  
"Mack ... my ... my legs," he mumbles.  _ I still can't feel them ... Is that normal?  _ _Is it a side effect of some sort of medication they give me? Or ..._  
  
Mack closes his eyes.  He seems to gather strength for his next words and another foreboding rises in Fitz, which is confirmed as Mack says, "Turbo, I'm sorry.  The damage was ... they couldn't do more. Both your legs are paralyzed.  The doctors call this paraplegia.  But hey," he squeezes Fitz's hand stronger.  "We can do it, ok?  We ... we will find a solution.  We always do.  We always find a solution."  
  
Find a solution. Fitz closes his eyes, exhausted. A solution for what?  Hasn't he found the solution yet?  Did he fail?  
  
But the world is still there. The world is still there and it hurts.  
  
He doesn't understand and it's too much, so he lets the darkness swallow him again.  
  
*

Jemma is with him when he wakes up next time. She is about to adjust the pillows around him.  Her fingers are shaking slightly.  She's crying silently. "Hey," she breathes, when she realizes his eyes are open and smiles at him weakly.

Fitz squints up at her.  "Jemma ..."

She sobs and presses a kiss on his forehead.  "You don't know how much I ... Oh god, Fitz.  I thought I'd lost you," she whispers and her breath tickles his skin.  "I thought …"

"Jemma ... I'm here," he mumbles.  "I ... I won't leave you alone.  Never ..."

She smiles through her tears.  "I know.  I know, Fitz."

She puts a hand on his cheek. Fitz leans into the touch.  He frowns when he remembers something ... "Mack was here," he says softly.  "Mack ... he said something ... about my legs."

He sees Jemma swallow.  She breathes in shakily and closes her eyes.  "Yes.  He told you your legs are paralyzed, Fitz.  You will ... you will never be able to use them again.  I'm sorry, darling.  So sorry …"

This time, the information gets through to Fitz more clearly. He doesn't quite know what to feel. Sorrow?  Anger?  Resignation?

Another part of his body has decided to give up the service. But this time there is no chance of recovery, he feels. He lost his legs. His legs.

One of Jemma's tears falls on his face.

*

The days pass and Fitz manages to stay awake longer and longer. The doctors are beginning to reduce the dose of morphine. His thoughts become clearer in the process.

And finally he manages to think about how he should feel. He will never be able to walk again. Will never be able to stand on his own feet again.

The first thought he has is: Now I am completely useless for the others.

But then, for some reason, this shattering realization is displaced by something that feels like hope. _It could be worse_ , he thinks as he watches Jemma making his favourite sandwich for him. _You have to eat_ , she said.  _You need to gain more weight, so you can grow stronger._

_It could be worse. I could be dead.  __Jemma could be alone now._ _And …_ _I still have my hands._ _I still have my mind._ _These are the tools I need for my work the most._ And he looks down at his hands, which are full of scars but still functional, and realizes that he is glad to be alive.

The next moment he says that to Jemma. "I'm glad to be alive."

She looks up from the sandwich, her face a mixture of surprise, everlasting sadness and love, and he smiles at her and says, "I love you."  
  
When she breathes back, "I love you too", he thinks: _I will use this second chance, Jemma. _ _I promise it._

*

Mack is sitting on his bed, thinking. Next to him is Elena.  She sleeps peacefully.  It's long after midnight.

Mack's thoughts are with Fitz. With the problem that needs to be solved.

He has ideas and rejects them.  Hides his face in his hands and sighs. _I could use the help of Iron Man_ , he thinks dryly, and then a thought comes to him that doesn't leave him again and that is indeed the solution.

Iron Man.

War Machine.

Exoskeleton. _Exoskeleton._

*

Fitz surprises the whole team and all his doctors with his zest for action in the next weeks. His will to leave the hospital as soon as possible to go to Scotland with Jemma is so great that he's making progress in giant steps. 

Sometimes the physiotherapist has to stop him when he is so sweaty and exhausted that he can barely move a muscle. Sometimes there are setbacks.  Like the one time he falls out of bed because he thinks he can make it into a wheelchair by himself.  And he cries with frustration in Mack's arms. Sometimes he gets overwhelmed by negative thoughts. Thoughts like those that Jemma will have to take care of a cripple for the rest of her life.  But when she holds him in her arms and they cry together, it gets better. Always.  
  
It gets better.

 

 

The team is always with him. His family. And together they start to see the future.

 

Mack is secretly working in his workshop on his very specific project. It takes a long time.  Longer than he likes.  But he doesn't give up.  He keeps on working. He'll get Fitz back to his feet.  He promised that.  And he keeps his promises.

*

"Where are we going?" Fitz asks with a smile when Mack pushes a wheelchair into his room on a sunny Monday.

"Just out to the garden," Mack says.  "The weather is nice.  Some fresh air and sunlight will do you good."

"And I thought you were going to kidnap me.  Get me out of here," Fitz says jokingly, but with a bitter undertone.

"Hey, I know you have had enough of this hospital, so have I.  But we should really make sure that everything has healed well.  Plus, you need more strength in your arms and torso," Mack says quietly, putting the wheelchair in front of the bed and pulling on the brakes.  "And that's exactly why I won't help you today.  You can do it alone," he says, giving Fitz a challenging look.

Fitz nods.  He takes a deep breath and slides slowly but determinedly to the edge of the bed.  He reaches out and braces himself on the seat of the wheelchair.  And with a deep breath, he heaves himself into the wheelchair so fast that Mack can't suppress an appreciative whistle.  Fitz throws Mack a triumphant look and Mack smiles at him.  "Well done, Turbo."

He bends down, takes Fitz's feet and puts them gently on the footrests. He tries not to pay too much attention to the patterns of scars that cover both legs.  It hurts his heart.  But at the same time it reminds him of the project in his workshop.  The project, which develops way too slow for his liking. 

He pushes Fitz through the busy corridors of the hospital, out into the garden.  It really is wonderfully warm.  The change from spring to summer is pleasantly mild.  Mack moves towards an empty bench that lies in the sun.

"Here," Mack takes out two energy bars and hands one to Fitz.  Fitz accepts it with a mumbled thank you.

They eat in silence.

"I never really thanked you," Fitz says suddenly.

Mack looks at him questioningly.

"For saving my life," Fitz says seriously.  "For pulling me out of the rubbles.  For not giving up on me, no matter how ... how the odds were."

Mack swallows.  "Turbo ..."

"It's alright.  That thing with my legs.  I ... I have gotten used to it.  I'm glad to be alive, Mack.  I really am. I can still do my work. So: Thanks." Fitz looks Mack in the eye and smiles.

"I'm glad you're here too, Turbo," Mack says, putting his hand on Fitz's shoulder.  "Really glad."

_And_ , he adds in silence, _I'll make sure you can walk again._

*

Fitz raises his head in surprise as the whole team comes into his room on a Sunday morning, all with excited grins on their faces.

"We're going to take a trip, Speedy Gonzales," Daisy says, putting a wheelchair in front of his bed.

Fitz throws a slightly nervous look at Jemma, who is standing behind Daisy, smiling gently.  "What are y'all up to?"

"Let yourself be surprised, darling," Jemma says softly.

Fitz sighs and after a short moment of hesitation he heaves himself into the wheelchair.  As Daisy lifts his legs on the footrests, he looks down at her with a wry smile.  "Now I'm completely at your mercy."

"Damn right," Daisy says cheerfully.  And then she pushes him out of the room with such a speed that they nearly topple in the hallway.

Fitz laughs but Mack behind them calls "Daisy!" In a half-frightened half-amused tone.

*

Mack watches with bated breath as Fitz looks at the exoskeleton.  His mouth is slightly open.  His glance is a mixture of surprise and disbelief.  He runs his fingers over the construction and swallows.

Finally, Mack asks softly, "What do you think, Turbo?"

Fitz looks at him openly.  "It's beautiful," he says softly, once again looking at the exoskeleton. "Impressive. Mack ... that ... wow. It's a masterpiece."

Mack clears his throat in embarrassment. "Oh well. I'm sure you could improve it ... It's just a draft. A rough ..."  


"No. It's perfect," Fitz says, shaking his head. "Absolutely perfect." He looks up at Mack, a nervous smile on his face. "When can we try it out?" 

Mack grins. "How about now?"

*

The first step is stunning, if awkward. Fitz inhales sharply and laughs nervously.  The next moment he almost falls over, only rescued by Mack behind him, who holds him upright. "Careful, Turbo," he says smiling.

Fitz takes a deep breath and looks at the others, who are standing at the side, watching excitedly. Jemma has tears in her eyes.  But she gives him a loving smile and Fitz's heart fills with warmth and confidence. He tries to get himself up and manages it with Mack's help. "I'm standing," he says breathlessly.

"Yes," Mack mumbles in his ear.  "You are. And soon you will run.  You just have to practice long enough.  _We_ will practice."

Fitz looks at Mack over his shoulder and swallows.  "Thank you, Mack.  I ... thank you.  Words can't express how ... how ..."

"It's alright, Turbo. It's great to see you on your feet again."

"Hey, Fitz!" Daisy shouts from the side.  "Now you are half Iron Man!"

"And my Robot-Buddy," Elena says cheerfully. 

Fitz smiles at them.  He smiles at Jemma, who gives him a thumbs up, and tries to take another careful step.

*

"It's beautiful," Jemma says quietly.

"Yes," Fitz agrees, pulling her close.  "It really is."

They are sitting on a hill in Scotland, watching the sunset. They share a bottle of wine, just a few steps away from their cottage, and celebrate life.

The life they will spend together.

The life that was given to them.

A second chance.  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the finale O_o  
> You decide.  
> I love comments - every kind of comment. Doesn't matter if it's just incoherent screaming, insults or criticism! ^^  
> Paraplegia = Paralysis in both legs  
> [Example of a exoskeleton](https://i2.wp.com/www.cipher101.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/exoskeleton-startup-uc.jpg?fit=686%2C481)  
>    
> Beta-read by Ricanta. 
> 
> Visit me on tumblr: [ready-to-kick-some-ass](https://ready-to-kick-some-ass.tumblr.com/) :)


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